A bit of a rant

Everyone, since they were born, is taught to respect their elders. I understand that very clearly and sometimes I feel that some don't even deserve that. Ever since I was a kid, I was told one thing and one thing only "that  I am fat, that I need to be slim" and so I grew up hating my body. I believed that I was fat( something that is not good at all)and to be able to love others or to be able to receive it back, I had to be slim. A kid who was probably ten years old didn't have to hear that at all. So, I wore clothes that were too baggy so that no one had to see me. And very recently I started to love my body. I loved the way that it was. It was to serve the purpose to contain my soul and I in return was to love the body that I was blessed with. I did, I grew my confidence a bit, but only to be stolen from me. I know no one could do that but constantly hearing the very words that I hate the most don't do very well either. I visited my relatives home and since I put my foot in their home all that I heard was them telling me how fat I am. I listened to it because that person was my elder and I cannot tell her that I do not want to hear it, it's actually disrespecting them ,right? So I listened to it like a good little girl all the while wanting to barge out of that house. I asked my mother what is wrong with me, she couldn't find any.  I am willing to work on my body but I don't have to hear this constantly and they wonder why I am a shaken cold drink ready to burst.  A distant relative came to my home, she examined me with her cruel eyes and right when she was to head back to her home, she hugged me and told me to be slim, she told me you have be slim, I could have told her to stop it or to shut up, I didn't, yet again me-0, the cruel world keeps on winning.  I asked my mother again what is wrong with me and I knew there isn't anything. I am someone who likes to walk to cool off my head or to think and my beautiful elder decided to tell  that walking like that won't benefit you, you won't see the results if you are walking like that. I wasn't walking to rectify anything, I was simply walking so that I could have a moment of peace. So, I told that person i wasn't doing this because I wanted results and I told that person to not tell me this and let's just say that I told them what I felt.  So, here I am writing this.  I had to tell someone, might as well tell the whole universe.