ontherocks

I love you, I love that you see life as art I love the fact that you read and write and that makes you a bit different, maybe even weird. I love that you are not for everyone, that you are not everyone's cup of coffee. I love that you are loyal to those who are around you and that you would do anything for them. I love that you are becoming unapologetic, you say what others try to sugarcoat. I love the fact that you cannot stand scary horror movies but you can watch all the gory details of a zombie film, I love the fact that you think you could survive a zombie apocalypse(let's just hope it never, never happens) I love that you are not afraid to laugh out loud till you cannot breathe and  I love that you laugh thinking of all the things that have happened. I love that you are you and on days that you don't feel that love, you always remind yourself of who you are. I love you, I love me.

This past year has truly changed me. I am not saying that I am better or that I am not better. Some days are good and others, well you know it. Let's get back to what we were actually discussing. Whenever I think of doing something on my own, this paralyzing fear takes control over me and I just sit there feeling angry at myself because I couldn't do something that I wanted to do. I was away from my home for half of 2018 and there was a park near where I lived. I wanted to go there, so I asked my friend if she wanted to join me but she couldn't. So I sat there feeling bored and angry at myself because I was scared or afraid to actually do something as simple as just going out by myself. I thought about going by myself and even the thought of just doing that scared me. So, I decided that I wanted to challenge myself and do something that scares me. I wanted to go out of my comfort zone, literally. I walked out and it felt amazing that I was doing something new.  I learned

I have had many friends. I have seen many people with very different ideas and ideals. I am literally a walking encyclopedia who has a record of meeting new people and learning about them. You could say maybe to a point where I could instantly sense who I want as my friends(even though I sometimes choose those who make me sad), who I want in my circle.                         Friendship for me is a place of mutual respect. A place where you can be who you are. "We have three types of friends in life: friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for a lifetime" - this saying is really the truth, at least by my experience(even if it hurts). I have had the joy of meeting all these types of friends and I have been all those three in one way or the other. I have asked myself why I have met some of the worst people and why I have shed far too many tears on them.  It all makes sense when I see this ("We have three types of friends in life: friends for a reason, fr